Surgery Day

Waiting is a difficult thing for me, especially when the thing I'm waiting for involves a loved one. In this case, it's my beloved Shelly.
She's in surgery right at this moment, and we're anxiously awaiting the outcome for several reasons.

She is having her right eye enucleated, which means removed. If the reason for enucleating was for one of the norms then I'd be much more comfortable, but in Shelly's case, it could be opening a large bag of worms that I'd rather leave closed. I'm praying literally that the inflammation is contained to the eyeball itself. If it's outside of the eye, then who knows what our options maybe. 
Shelly also has TCC (bladder cancer) which further compounds risks and problems with the surgical process itself.

Right now I'm feeling like she's my own flesh and blood in that OR room. I've never gone through something of this magnitude with any other pet, or human for that matter. It is all in God's hands, and it's truly knowing that which I find some comfort.

We've been on a major roller coaster this past week or two with determining what is best for Shelly.
I believe she made the decision for us yesterday, as she was absolutely miserable. I just couldn't put her through another day of that.

We met with a new oncologist this past week that has provided us with a great deal of hope. Up until this point, her TCC hasn't changed much since diagnosis. We've tried three different chemo protocols and it seems the past one we just took her off of, has somehow caused more issues with her joints and arthritis. She's really struggling with walking. Some days are worse than others.

We took her off chemo on Wednesday, as we were planning on having her begin her new protocol this coming Monday. With her surgery today, this will be pushed back to Friday of this upcoming week. Dr. Drazner who we met with, has had some recent success's with other bladder cancer pets. His goal is to get her into full remission, if not eradicate the tumor completely. That would be awesome!! We have no way of knowing what to expect at this time, but we do have hope and a new found goal.

God is truly an amazing God. My prayer this week has been for hope. I've cried out to him for hope with Shelly, and it looks like he delivered it through Dr. Drazer. Without having met him, I honestly don't know where we'd be at today with Shelly. It's very difficult moving forward without hope.

All I can see is today. God delivered a morning full of sunshine today, and I'm taking that as a literal picture of better days ahead.
Regardless, God's promise is for better days ahead...

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead."
1 Peter 1:3

One Day at a Time

Today is a new day and God's tender mercies are being praised and surely felt!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
    “therefore I will hope in him.”

 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
    to the soul who seeks him.

Lamentations 3:22-25

 

We have spent the past two days at VCA with Shelly.

 

Friday began bright and early with our scheduled appointment at 7 a.m. at Animal Eye Consultants. The pressure reading on Shelly's right eye was higher than it'd been before. It read 48. This is definitely a serious situation as pressure in the eye means pain. A dogs normal eye pressure should be between 15-25. The week before it was 37, and the week before that it was 30. Obviously heading in the wrong direction!

We were told that the eye definitely needed to be removed immediately. It was that or euthanize.

We had both agreed going into this appointment that we wouldn't put Shelly through the surgery until we knew just how stable her TCC (bladder cancer) was. So we left and proceeded to head over to VCA to find out.

 

VCA has their own Ophthalmologist, Dr. Enry Garcia. We hadn't realized this when the eye problem began with Shelly.

By the way ladies, you all need to check out his bio on their website - Mike made the comment later that he was certain Dr. Garcia would have no problems getting dates! Leave it to another man...

 

So after a complete examination by Dr. Garcia, Shelly's pressure reading was back at 30! He definitively stated he saw no reason to remove her eye immediately. He also said Shelly did not appear to be in pain or distress. Dr. Garcia went through her eye medications with us and changed them up a bit. It all made more sense to administer them the way he indicated. Did I say that I really liked him as a doctor?? Oh and that accent!...o.k., o.k. back to our precious Shelly.

 

So from his department, we wanted to be seen by Dr.Greene, Shelly's oncologist there, but the oncology department isn't in on Fridays! Of course!

 

We did however get another ultrasound done of her bladder and spoke to the radiologist, a Dr. Donna Almondia. She told us in essence that nothing's changed +/-. It's only been 3 weeks since starting Shelly's current chemo protocol, so not sure if this was good news or not. We're not actually scheduled to do this ultrasound follow up for another 3 weeks. The urgency of the pending eye surgery is the reason we did it on Friday. Dr. Greene will have to let us know what "no change" means in terms of Shelly when we see her this week. As of now, we're tentatively scheduled for enucleation surgery of Shelly's right eye on Wednesday.

 

The good news for us is that Shelly's TCC doesn't appear to be getting worse. So then why did she seem to be worse? For most of the last week or so, she has been going downhill. Neither one of us wanted to say anything to the other, as that would somehow confirm our worst fears. I've been down this "cancer road" before, and the imminent signs were beginning to rear their ugly head. Shelly was becoming pickier and pickier at eating. She didn't want to come in from being outside. She was loosing interest in many things that she has always loved. It was a battle all around.

 

We got home late Friday afternoon after a LONG and exhausting day, settled in and Shelly seemed relatively comfortable. The next morning was a different story however. She could barely walk! Her limping was so bad that we had to carry her and place her in the yard to do her business. She was unable to do our stairs, and we were both just getting scared. So back off to VCA emergency to find out what was happening.

 

Long story after another exhausting day at VCA - we ending up putting her on another antibiotic and one other pain medication. 

 

Last night as I was reflecting on everything, I began thinking about all my wonderful lady friends in my bible study group. Everyone is such a strong support network for one another, and we've been really stepping up our focused prayers for each other. We're truly seeing God work in many lives! I thought well Shelly is our family member, so I reached out to them for prayers for Shelly's comfort. That's all I wanted was her for her to be comfortable. 

 

This morning - we had a different dog!!! Praise God that he answered everyone's prayers!! Shelly ate everything I gave her, she's comfortable, and she's walking again! This is truly a miracle if you had seen her yesterday.

Now I know some of you are saying, well you did give her some new medicine. Yes, we did. God can work through any means he chooses. The reality is that if God hadn't intervened, we'd likely be back at VCA today and it wouldn't be a good outcome. I believe this with my whole heart.

 

The truth is that God is in control - we are not. Whether you admit it or not, every breath we take is only because he allows it.

Thus says God, the LORD, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it:  Isaiah 42:5

God is good, indeed he is!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We're Praying

Enucleation is the removal of the eyeball. Never in my imagination did I think we'd be facing something like this. Sadly, we are most likely going to need this performed soon on Shelly. In my last post, I stated we were hoping for about 6 months, but it's clear that Shelly is in too much discomfort to wait that long.

 

It is so difficult to understand all that is happening within Shelly over just these past couple of months. It's even baffling all of her doctors. Her oncologist is unclear as to the root cause of it.

I am seeking wisdom in moving forward with this procedure. We clearly don't want Shelly being in pain. We're told that the severe uveitis and glaucoma she has is comparable to a migraine headache. I can certainly understand why she's not been overly eager to eat or socialize.
If the condition would only correct itself, then that would be answer to pray! Unfortunately, it's not and we need to understand why not...

We're approaching a very, very difficult cross road here. In consulting with her primary vet the other day, his concern is with her overall health. TCC, a.k.a. bladder cancer that she has is not curable. It is only treatable, and for how long is anyone's guess. Based upon Shelly's overall condition before the eye problem, she was doing quite well. In fact just last week her and I played some Frisbee in the yard on a warm and sunny afternoon. So it's really difficult to know just how much of her current discomfort is attributed to the persistent uveitis and how much if any may be from by the TCC.
In addition to both of these chronic issues, is a third underlying chronic problem of arthritis.

Poor Shelly just can't catch a break. We've been treating her off and on for better than 4 years now for stiffness in her hind end. Between chiropractic, laser therapy and now acupuncture, it's also worsening. Our primary vet said this is common when there are other issues at hand like the TCC. He's seen it before.

So what to do. What to do.

I am praying about this first of all, truly seeking after God's wisdom. His word tells us that when we ask, we will receive.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.                                                                                                                                  James 1:5

So why am I not getting a clear cut answer? How does God deliver us His answers?
It's only in reading his word, the bible that you can be certain you're hearing from God. Just like any relationship the more you immerse yourself, the more you will develop a deeper understanding of one another. I cannot expect to hear from God if I seldom open His word. I must be reading it regularly, daily, to be able to truly know him.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.                     John 10:27

Yes, I do hear God. I hear him clearly when I seek after him with my whole heart. When my will aligns with his. In other words, when my goals are not self-centered, but Christ-centered.
So what is God's will in all of this? What is God's will in each one of our lives? We all face uncertainties each day. We all need wisdom to proceed. How do you handle your own trials?

I'm seeking, I'm praying, I'm praising, I'm open to God's will. Won't you please pray along with me for whatever it is you're facing this day?

Heavenly father, you alone are good. None of us can compare. We are weak, you are strong. We are unknowing, you are all knowing. We are sinful, you are holy. I confess my sinfulness to you. I hold things too closely, when I should be holding nothing but you. I do not always seek you when I most need to. I do need you every day, every hour, minute by minute, every second. I cannot you, only you can.
I want to walk in your paths of righteousness. Your word from James 4:8 says, Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. It is only there that I will see you.
You tell us in Lamentations 3:23 about your mercies, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I ask that especially for today.
Please give me wisdom as I try to discern what is the best thing for Shelly. I know you love her even more than I do.
Thank you God for all that you've done, that you do, and that you are going to do through this situation we face.
It is in your holy precious name of Jesus that I ask and pray.
Amen.

P.S. Dear God,
April, Shelly's little sister, asks if it's possible, to please let her feel extra good today!